Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
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