So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
time to smoke my breakfast
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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