I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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