I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
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