New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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