just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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