If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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