I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Randomize
