So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
