My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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