oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
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