when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
