Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
