Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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