we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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