Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I love you. Go after that dick
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
