I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
