so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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