hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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