It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
