me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Randomize
