i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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my god I love twenty year old dicks
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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