Rock
Scissors
Fuck
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
