obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
