You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
