While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
