Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
