This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
