I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
