You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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