U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Randomize
