i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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