So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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