Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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