how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
