she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Randomize
