She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
