Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
