i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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