the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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