It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
