i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
