Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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