I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
