my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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