You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
