we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
