I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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