maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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