it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
