She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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